Posts Tagged ‘Life Coaching’
Relieving Stress – Stop Worrying And Start Doing
Are you a chronic worrier?
If much of your time is spent worrying about possible outcomes of situations, you are draining your energy that could be better spent on productivity. There are times when you should worry. But not doing anything about what is worrying you is counter-productive.
One thing you must realize is that the majority of people who are chronic worriers have a feeling of being out of control in certain situations. Learning to take back the control whenever possible, or developing plans of action can make you feel more in control and eleviate your need to worry.
If you are a naturally fearful person, this may be a difficult habit to change. That does not mean it is not impossible.
Here are some tips for dealing with your concerns to get them out of the way so they do not take over your daily life.
- Analyze what is causing your worries. Most of the things you fret about every day are problems. So take a look at the problem and come up with some concrete solutions. Set aside an hour per day to worry your way through the problem. Non-productive worrying is just that….non-productive.So write down the problem to put a name to it. Then write a list of actions you can take to eliminate it. If you cannot come up with any solutions, then it most likely is something out of your control and therefore not something you should focus your attention on. Instead, focus on a plan to counteract the problem.
- Do not fall into the habit of worrying about “What if…” Deal with a situation when it happens instead of worrying about an event that may not happen. The What if’s in life can needlessly sap your energy. If you are a speculative worrier, then set a time aside to deal with the What if’s and create a plan of action to deal with your most concerning fears. Having a plan of action already in place will take the fear out of the What if’s.
Setting a specific time every day to worry will allow you to indulge in your habit but it will also give you the freedom of having time to spend not worrying. That worry free time will be far more creative and productive without that cloud of fear continually hanging over your head. You will feel a huge weight lifted off your shoulders and will regain control over your life.
Time Management: Focus on Only What is Important
Do you have enough time to do all the things that you really should be doing today? Or, like most people, do you find yourself laboring under a mountain of “to dos”, never getting through it and then find that you simply haven’t done some of the things that you really wanted to or should have done? Are you a slave to others’ demands at work? Are you trying to juggle job and family responsibilities and finding that you’re getting neither done properly? Are you one of these people who has to take home work at the weekend to “catch up”?
One of the biggest problems with the modern pace of life is that we don’t seem to have enough hours in the day to get everything done. One of the most frequent questions that I am asked, when I propose that people slow down, “smell the roses” and give themselves the space and time to be inspired is “are you seriously suggesting that I slow down when I don’t even have the time to do what I’m supposed to be doing at the moment?” Yes, I am – we all need to give ourselves extra time to do the important things and let the things that you should not be doing just pass us by. How much time are you wasting on stuff that should never be given your attention in the first place? How many emails do you read that you shouldn’t bother reading at all? How many emails do you receive that don’t require your attention – as you know, particularly in large organizations, the majority of emails you receive are either not worth reading or shouldn’t have been sent in the first place – how many emails in large companies are CCed to everyone in existence in what amounts to compulsive ass-covering! And how many of us get a kick out of feeling important because of the number of emails that we have to deal with?
Many years ago, in the days before mobile ‘phones or emails, a good friend, the Executive Chairman of a well-known company, went through a difficult divorce which left him, one Friday afternoon following the final court hearing, with sole custody of two children aged 9 and 11 years. That Sunday evening he decided that his children were his first priority. He called his fellow Board members and told them that he wouldn’t be in on Monday – for three months! Three months later, he arrived back to an office piled high with paper (remember, this is pre-email), left the office again, returned with a roll of trash bags and dumped every single thing. Of all the paper in that room, only one issue came back to bite! The moral of the story – he spent most of his time on things that did not require his attention.
Not only do we allow others waste our time, we’re experts at wasting our own time. How much time do you spend on negative gossip – the sort where you revel in others’ bad news or misfortune? I will readily admit that chit-chat is useful – we often learn important things at the water cooler that we’d otherwise never find out. But negative gossip is a waste of your time and energy. How much time do you waste wallowing in the bad news on the inside pages of the newspaper – who murdered, assaulted or raped whom? Not only is this a waste of your time, it actually confirms to you that your normal “not-too-bad” life is OK! How much time do you waste surfing the ‘net or joining groups on Facebook like “I’s sick of people cheering every time I go out on my balcony”?! How much time do you waste channel-hopping at night? How much time do you waste thinking negative thoughts, worrying, imagining the worst scenarios? How much time do you waste bitching about work colleagues, maneuvering or jockeying for position in your organization instead of doing what you’re paid to do?
Cut out the crap and you’ll find that you’ve got lots of time to do the important things – with some left over for a little reflection, meditation, self improvement and, most importantly, to do some of the things that really turn you on. How will you know what’s crap and what isn’t? Well, a clear and present mind is as sharp as a razor’s edge – it knows the difference between something worth doing and something that you should simply let pass. Indeed, a clear and present mind is the one sure way of ensuring that, not only do you cut out the crap, but that, while you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing, you’re fully doing it.
In other words, you should fully do one thing at a time. The female of the species often says to me “but what about multi-tasking” (perhaps, as modern neuro-psychology progresses, we’ll find out that this gendered ability is more myth than fact – but that’s another day’s work)? Well, when you’re multi-tasking you might be doing three things in one minute. That means, perhaps, one thing each twenty seconds – that means that, for those twenty seconds, you fully attend to what you’re doing.
Life is made up of moments – each moment a unique opportunity to fully do what you’re doing, to fully focus on that moment and to disregard the things and people that have a habit of diverting us from the opportunity of the moment. The opportunity? To live life to the full, be fully present, be more effective, more productive and more turned on, moment to moment. When you do that, not only will you get all the important things done, you might just find that there are even more important things that the universe can do for you.
—————————————————-
Willie Horton, an Irish ex-accountant and ex-banker, has worked as a success coach to business leaders and sports people since 1996. He moved to the French Alps in 2002, from where his free weekly Self-Help video seminar is sent to thousands of people worldwide. His Online Personal Development Self Help Workshop is used all over the world, clients say it’s life-changing. Info: http://www.gurdy.net
Finding the Perfect Balance Between Your Professional and Personal Life
As a single adult, you already know that finding the balance between your personal and professional life is a constant challenge. In fact, this is quite common among female singles today since the demands of your career can often grow as quickly as the demands of your family. If you are just starting a family or raising young children, then it is even more difficult – likely than you ever even imagined. But fear not – reward is at hand.
In fact, keep that word handy throughout your day, and apply it to your day as often as you can. For example, getting away from work at the end of each day is a “reward” in and of itself. You have made it another day. Success! Although you will make more money and further secure your stability in your field with extra work and overtime, there will be plenty of those times – so give yourself a rest when you know you really deserve one!
In fact, studies have shown that women who create quality time with their families end up being more successful singles in the long term. So if you think you are making a sacrifice now for your family by working longer hours, think again. Those who can manage to strike a good balance their life and work are more beneficial to their law practice, and certainly have happier and more contented home lives.
So, what’s the key to balancing your professional and personal life?
- Every day, make a list of your priorities – including work and home life.
- After completing the list, then evaluate it what you’ve just written. You may find that you are devoting too much time to activities that are not really that important. For instance, spending too many hours at the gym can really eat up your hours after work. What would you really rather be doing? How can you give “equal time” to everything in your life? Carefully make those adjustments to your schedule.
- Understand that you’re not heading for perfection here – don’t expect yourself to check off everything on your daily list that you wanted to accomplish, but reward yourself for the things you do get squared away and leave the rest for the next day.
- If you feel it’s necessary, hire a professional personal assistant and certified coach to assist you in organizing your life goals so that you can better enjoy that life – instead of stressing out over often-tangled wires that will impede your goals.
- Finally, schedule yourself some personal time. This means even though you may need to work longer hours, make sure that once you leave the office, you leave everything at the office. Resist the temptation to check your emails, answer your cell phone or let other distractions intrude in your personal time or your time with your family unless it is an emergency.
It’s truly more daunting to simply think about how to reorganize and reschedule your time at work and at home than to actually just do it! Again, the rewards of feeling less stressed – and more balanced – will far outweigh the efforts that you expend while making the changes.
Coaching for Life – Are You Single And Loving It?
You are a strong willed individual with a clear sense of independence. You are self confident and devoted to experiencing life on your own. You have made the decision that marriage is not one of your life goals and you celebrate that fact. So why can’t people be happy for you?
Unfortunately, people who have not made the same decisions as you cannot phathom wanting to go solo through life. They assume that you are single because the right person has not come into your life yet. They assume you are lonely. Quite simply, they just do not understand that you are single by choice. We all have heard the term “happily married” but how often have we heard she’s “happily single”? That is because the concept is so foreign to anyone on the outside.
One of the biggest obstacles that individuals who are committed to the single lifestyle face is not having a reliable person, who understands your situation, to go to for advice. You can’t turn to your parents because they are too busy still trying to find you “Mr. Right”. A life coach may very well be your best ally when it comes to making informed decisions that will effect your career, your finances and your personal growth.
Finding a certified life coach who specializes in coaching singles is not always easy though. This person will be your mentor who will guide you through all of the plans you have for your life so you need to be very sure that you choose wisely. She must specialize in helping individuals reach their goals, she can also be a great source to network with other people who, like you, are committed to the single lifestyle.
Have you found a certified career/life coach out there who is as happily single as you are? If so, she will be the best one to guide you. She is a rare find because she understands the difficulties you face as an unmarried person in a corporate world. She has faced the same situations you will encounter in your career and can help you deal with descrimination that singles often come up against in their corporate life.
So if marriage is not one of your life goals, celebrate it and rely on those who truly understand.
How Can Career Coaching Improve My Life?
Professional guidance and mentoring boosts self-esteem and provides personal encouragement, information and accountability in moving along the career path. In addition, career and life coaching adds value in various life domains – health, habits, grooming, demeanor, personal presentation, business etiquette, attire. All of these are crucial in advancing one’s career or transitioning to a different career field.
- help you explore and better define your professional competencies,
- address personal issues impacting your career,
- clearly identify your career objectives,
- discuss and resolve obstacles to employment and career success,
- guide you in developing both short-term and long-range career strategies,
- assist you in developing, executing and managing a successful job search campaign
- prepare you to competitively interview, negotiate compensation and evaluate offers.
In addition, many coaches offer services beyond the immediate job search and are available to support you throughout your career with ongoing guidance and support for long-term career planning, management and advancement.
Typically, clients are either in their early 20s looking to launch a career or fast-track their career; or they are in their 40s, 50s or early retirement years and they desire to transition to an entirely different career field. A common trait among Singles Career Coaching clients is that they have a vision they want to fulfill. Usually they want to achieve personal job satisfaction and also make an impact on the environment, on people or on the world. Commonly, to achieve their goals, they need: education, a structured plan, support and encouragement.
10 Easy Steps to Positive Thinking
We all know that positive thinking can make a huge difference in creating success in your life. Here are 10 very easy ways you can make minor adjustments to your daily life that can have a very positive impact on your outlook on life and how others perceive you.
- Take Good Care of Yourself. It’s much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.
- Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For. Stresses and challenges don’t seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in your life. Every day take just one minute to make note of your achievements, your strengths and your blessings.
- Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions. Do not waste your time worrying about the “What if’s” in the world. If you cannot validate a fear as fact then put it aside as unfounded and move on.
- Refrain from Using Absolutes. Have you ever told a partner “You’re ALWAYS late!” or thought “I NEVER get considered for a promotion!”? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like ‘always’ and ‘never’ make circumstances seem worse than they are, and programs your brain into believing that certain situations are impossible.
- Detach From Negative Thoughts. Negativity attracts negativity. Non-productive thoughts can be infectious. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, recognize it, and set it aside.
- Squash the “ANTs”. In his book “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life,” Dr. Daniel Amen talks about “ANTs” – Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are reactionary negative assumptions, like “Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me,” or “The boss wants to see me? I did something wrong!” Do not imagine the worst. Keep your thoughts positive and you will address all situations in a positive manner.
- Practice Lovin’, Touchin’ & Squeezin’ (Your Friends and Family). You don’t have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn’t touch!
- Increase Your Social Activities With Your Prospective Peers. Surround yourself with healthy, happy, successful people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way! Social activities will prevent you from being lonely, will open doors to new contacts and experiences. Success is a learned behavior, by exposing yourself to successful people you will begin to learn success patterns.
- Get Involved With Charities or Lend a Helping Hand. Volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return. Having a “Pay It Forward” attitude will make you feel good inside which will project into other areas of your life.
- Be a Part of The Solution and Not Part of The Problem. If you find yourself focusing on an obstacle; stop. Take a step back and focus instead on finding a solution. Limiting your mind to problems will prevent you from moving forward to creating successful resolutions.
Negativity is often an unconsious reaction. Training your brain to focus on the positive takes a little bit of conscious effort on your part but the benefits are worth the effort. Work on incorporating one of these tips in your life until they become habit and then move on to the next tip. You will be surprised how quickly your mind responds to positive thinking and the effects it has on those around you.
January, 2010
(June 2009 issue, page 95)
