The fact is that, over the last fourteen years, the vast majority of the clients with whom I have worked were already successful before we ever met. But they were “normal successful”, judging themselves against such pathetic norms that they almost had closed their minds to the possibility that there is a level of abnormal success out there that anyone can attain – and it’s different from normal so-called success. Normal success is comparative and competitive – we judge our success against others’ achievements, material goods and lifestyles. We compare this year’s sales and profit to last year’s – when, if we just opened our minds a little, we would see the absurdity of planning next year on what we manage to achieve this year. Yes, business planning is a classic example of the manner in which we shut down our expectations and then reward ourselves for living down to them. After all, what sane person would use the normal levels of business this year as a benchmark against which to visualize next year’s. That’s why long-standing businesses are often overwhelmed by a new entry into the market, one who hasn’t succumbed to the “conventional wisdom” (by the way, there’s no such thing!) of the marketplace. That’s why, for example, the Swiss watch making industry has never recovered from the development of quartz timepieces – for, when offered this new technology in the nineteen seventies, the Swiss response was that they couldn’t take that on board – “a watch isn’t a watch unless it has all the moving pieces” – the rest is history.

When we consider ourselves successful through the normal lens of self-evaluation, we may be fooling ourselves – because we’re comparing ourselves to the crazies – you know, people who work crazy hours, ride roughshod over their fellow human beings, make lunatic decisions, screw up the world economy, clap themselves on the back, pay themselves obscene bonuses and, in the process, lose a little of their soul. But that’s enough about bankers!!! Allow me quote Niall Fitzgerald from an interview in Ireland’s leading newspaper, The Irish Times. Here’s a man who left Ireland in the 1970s and who went on to become Chairman and Chief Executive of Unilever and Chairman of Reuters. Fitzgerald is quoted as saying that the development of his business career, had he stayed in Ireland, would have been restricted unless “I was prepared to compromise my own principles”. That’s the kind of normal success I’m talking about.

But principles come in all shapes and sizes – for example, what comes first, working crazy hours to make more money, or family life? What’s more important, an organization’s bottom line or the people who make the money? The key question was well put two thousand years ago “What doth it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul?” What price “success”?

Let me propose a different perspective on success that suggests that real success simply happens when one is extra-ordinarily good at what one does for a “living”, that they get a great kick out of doing it and, because they’re so good, they get really well remunerated – that they have a wonderful time with the people who are most special to them in their lives – that they also spend lots of time and energy doing the things that really turn them on and that, in the whole process, they enable those whose lives they touch be the better for knowing them. This perspective on success encompasses financial freedom, work life balance, personal effectiveness and ambition and what’s come to be called “giving something back” (of course, in that regard, charity always begins at home). There are many of my clients who don’t subscribe to this perspective – they actually live it and it confirms to them that “you have to work hard to be a success” is a myth – hard work, like beauty, is in the mind of the beholder. For those who are truly successful what normal people see as hard work is a labour of love. The macho myth that you have to walk through people to be a success is also exploded – I’ve been privileged to work with senior management teams who deeply care for each other – to the extent that would put many normal family “caring” relationships to shame. These people grow each other and, in turn, grow themselves. These people don’t take themselves too seriously, have great fun doing what they’re doing and don’t give a damn about what normal people think of them – why should the bother? Why should you?

Which leads my nicely back full circle. Why conform to crazy norms? Why fall into the normal mould of “successful” living? Why jump aboard the normal express train to stress, infidelity and moral stupor? Why even care about what these so-called ordinary people think of you? Because, if you want to be extraordinarily successful, you’re going to have to start being extra – ordinary.

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Willie Horton, an Irish ex-accountant and ex-banker, has worked as a success coach to business leaders and sports people since 1996. He moved to the French Alps in 2002, from where his free weekly Self-Help video seminar is sent to thousands of people worldwide. His Online Personal Development Self Help Workshop is used all over the world, clients say it’s life-changing. Info: http://www.gurdy.net

Technorati Tags: achieving success, Self Improvement

If your presentation is part of a seminar or workshop, people expect to be able to ask their questions and have them answered, but sometimes they don’t know when to ask.

If you are making a business presentation to the management group, they want answers and will have no hesitation in interrupting you any time they want.

The way you handle questions and answers can have a huge impact on your presentation. Perhaps you share two complaints that often come up in my presentation workshops:

1)  You can never follow your planned presentations because people keep interrupting with questions that pull you off track.

2)    You invite questions at the end, nobody asks any and you fade back to your seat in silence — not the rousing finish you had hoped for!

Here are my suggestions for handling both these situations.

1) Begin by telling them you will have a Q&A session at the end and you will take all the time necessary to answer all their questions. Then any time someone interrupts to ask a question, you can politely say, “I’m glad you asked that question, and I do intend to answer it. However, the details fall more naturally into a later part of my presentation, so please bear with me until I reach that part. If you’d like more details, I’d be happy to fill them in during the Q&A session at the end.”

This is a very reasonable request and most people will go along with it. Adapt the wording to suit your personal style as well as the audience and situation.

2) When you have finished delivering your content, but before you do your “big close”, say something like, “And now, just before I bring my presentation to a close, I’d like to invite any questions you may have.” Complete your Q&A, and then close with your planned “big finish”. If there are no questions, you can slide easily into your planned close and leave the platform, or the front of the room, with your head held high, a smile on your face, and the confidence that you have left your listeners with the final thoughts that YOU want them to have.

Remember, it’s your show, and you must control as much of it as possible — and that includes Questions and Answers.
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Helen Wilkie is a professional speaker and workshop leader specializing in communication at work. For more of her ideas on presenting and other workplace communication skills visit her website at http://www.mhwcom.com and her blog at http://www.communi-keys.com

Technorati Tags: how to give an effective presentation, job skills, presentation skills, skills development

The telephone interview can be either a brief screening interview or surprisingly in-depth. Whichever you encounter, it is better to be thoroughly prepared to reach your goal and to obtain a face-to-face interview.

Phone interviewing is unique. You can’t count on visual stimuli such as good looks or power suits, eye contact or body language, to aid your presentation. Neither can you rely on visual signals to interpret the interviewer’s response. In this context, faceless conversation takes on an added dimension of importance. Both strengths and weaknesses, as conveyed by voice, are magnified through the phone. Your voice personifies everything about you.

HR professionals and hiring authorities listen for a relaxed style that communicates confidence, enthusiasm and intelligence. This is reflected in a smooth conversation flow devoid of clichés or verbal catchalls to stall for time as well as other negatives.

The more convincingly you make your case over the phone will determine further interest in you as a job candidate.

The following techniques will help you prepare and handle any type of telephone interviewing situations.

If you’re currently employed, arrange for a phone interview in the evening rather than during the workday. Confidentiality and discretion may be at risk if you interview during working hours; you never know who might barge into your office unannounced or overhear something by accident. In the privacy of your home, you can be more at ease and in control of your surroundings. You should always make sure you will not be interrupted.

Before the actual interview, it will help to know the topics to be covered, objectives to attain and the basic information regarding the position to be discussed. It also helps to rehearse: Try to think as the employer, what key information is the interviewer looking for? What questions is he likely to ask? What things do you hope he doesn’t ask?

Technorati Tags: job search coaching, preparing for a telephone interview, telephone interview help

One of the biggest problems with the modern pace of life is that we don’t seem to have enough hours in the day to get everything done.   One of the most frequent questions that I am asked, when I propose that people slow down, “smell the roses” and give themselves the space and time to be inspired is “are you seriously suggesting that I slow down when I don’t even have the time to do what I’m supposed to be doing at the moment?”  Yes, I am – we all need to give ourselves extra time  to do the important things and let the things that you should not be doing just pass us by.   How much time are you wasting on stuff that should never be given your attention in the first place?   How many emails do you read that you shouldn’t bother reading at all?   How many emails do you receive that don’t require your attention – as you know, particularly in large organizations, the majority of emails you receive are either not worth reading or shouldn’t have been sent in the first place – how many emails in large companies are CCed to everyone in existence in what amounts to compulsive ass-covering!   And how many of us get a kick out of feeling important because of the number of emails that we have to deal with?

Many years ago, in the days before mobile ‘phones or emails, a good friend, the Executive Chairman of a well-known company, went through a difficult divorce which left him, one Friday afternoon following the final court hearing, with sole custody of two children aged 9 and 11 years.  That Sunday evening he decided that his children were his first priority.  He called his fellow Board members and told them that he wouldn’t be in on Monday – for three months!   Three months later, he arrived back to an office piled high with paper (remember, this is pre-email), left the office again, returned with a roll of trash bags and dumped every single thing.   Of all the paper in that room, only one issue came back to bite!   The moral of the story – he spent most of his time on things that did not require his attention.

Not only do we allow others waste our time, we’re experts at wasting our own time.  How much time do you spend on negative gossip – the sort where you revel in others’ bad news or misfortune?  I will readily admit that chit-chat is useful – we often learn important things at the water cooler that we’d otherwise never find out.  But negative gossip is a waste of your time and energy.  How much time do you waste wallowing in the bad news on the inside pages of the newspaper – who murdered, assaulted or raped whom?   Not only is this a waste of your time, it actually confirms to you that your normal “not-too-bad” life is OK!   How much time do you waste surfing the ‘net or joining groups on Facebook like “I’s sick of people cheering every time I go out on my balcony”?!  How much time do you waste channel-hopping at night?  How much time do you waste thinking negative thoughts, worrying, imagining the worst scenarios?  How much time do you waste bitching about work colleagues, maneuvering or jockeying for position in your organization instead of doing what you’re paid to do?

Cut out the crap and you’ll find that you’ve got lots of time to do the important things – with some left over for a little reflection, meditation, self improvement and, most importantly, to do some of the things that really turn you on.   How will you know what’s crap and what isn’t?  Well, a clear and present mind is as sharp as a razor’s edge – it knows the difference between something worth doing and something that you should simply let pass.  Indeed, a clear and present mind is the one sure way of ensuring that, not only do you cut out the crap, but that, while you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing, you’re fully doing it.

In other words, you should fully do one thing at a time.  The female of the species often says to me “but what about multi-tasking” (perhaps, as modern neuro-psychology progresses, we’ll find out that this gendered ability is more myth than fact – but that’s another day’s work)?   Well, when you’re multi-tasking you might be doing three things in one minute.  That means, perhaps, one thing each twenty seconds – that means that, for those twenty seconds, you fully attend to what you’re doing.

Life is made up of moments – each moment a unique opportunity to fully do what you’re doing, to fully focus on that moment and to disregard the things and people that have a habit of diverting us from the opportunity of the moment.  The opportunity?   To live life to the full, be fully present, be more effective, more productive and more turned on, moment to moment.  When you do that, not only will you get all the important things done, you might just find that there are even more important things that the universe can do for you.
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Willie Horton, an Irish ex-accountant and ex-banker, has worked as a success coach to business leaders and sports people since 1996. He moved to the French Alps in 2002, from where his free weekly Self-Help video seminar is sent to thousands of people worldwide. His Online Personal Development Self Help Workshop is used all over the world, clients say it’s life-changing. Info: http://www.gurdy.net

Technorati Tags: Life Coaching, Time Management

Job interviews can be a scary but rewarding experience, no matter the outcome. Going into it, there are many things you need to remind yourself of, bring, and do when you’re speaking with the employer. Job interview coaching can correct your performance and your presentation skills, but really effective job interview coaching will address the content of the interviews, as well.

Dress appropriatly for the occasion. When you drop off a resume it is a good idea to make note of the attire other staff members are wearing. You want your employer to see you fitting in within the organization. Keep conservatively within the dress code of the company. This is not the time to be flashy or seductive. You want to be remembered for your abilities, not your cleavage. Wear something that both makes you feel confident and comfortable. Looking great is no good if you are fidgeting with an uncomfortable outfit.

Prospective employers want to see people who think on their toes and are interested in the position as much as possible. Write out a few quick questions that you can ask at the appropriate time of the interview so that you are not trying to think on the spot of what to ask. Employers don’t want to know why you can’t do the job, they are concerned most with what you can do for them. Focus on your ability to tackle new situations, your communication skills, interpersonal abilities, analytical thinking talents, and other skills developed while in college or experience from previous positions.

Preparation is the key to success. Preparing for the interview enhances the quality of your interaction skill. It helps you to empower yourself with confidence in your own abilities.

Research the company beforehand so that you can showcase that knowledge during the interview. This will boost your credibility with the interviewer and will help you to formulate intelligent questions to ask him or her. Research an opportunity as much as possible. Seek out company/officer profiles, news clips, past and present company projects, current issues and events relating to an agency’s specialty. Research about the company’s background, the work you are applying for and the work environment and ponder about these matters. Stereotypical questions must be answered intelligently and with conviction.

Technorati Tags: job interview coaching, job interview tips, successful job interview

Pay attention to times when you need to send a cover letter to a potential employer or contact. If you are conducting a job search sending a cover letter will provide the employer with helpful information to complement the resume. A cover letter can convey your interest for a position and indicate that you are a “match” for the position.

What should my cover letter say?

•  Why you are writing and how you learned about the organization or opportunity
• Why you are interested
• Why you are qualified and would be a good “match” for the position
• How you plan to follow up with the employer
• Do not restate what is on your resume
• Emphasize personal attributes/strengths related to qualifications for the position

How do I begin to compose the letter?

Use your own words! Resist the temptation to compose your letter simply by replacing a few words of a template. Remember, the purpose of your letter is to showcase your individual strengths and your own written communication skills. Use a template as a guide, but be unique.

To whom should the cover letter be addressed?

If possible, address the cover letter to a specific person, not “Dear Sir/Madam” or “To Whom It May Concern.” If contact information is not available on, use a position title (e.g. Dear Internship Coordinator or Dear Recruitment Manager). Make sure to use current information.

How long should a cover letter be?

Cover letters should not exceed four paragraphs or one page in length. They should be clear and use concise sentences and short paragraphs. Use proper business format when constructing your cover letter.

What is the best way to print and send my cover letter?

Print the cover letter in the same font and on the same type of paper as your resume. The cover letter and resume may be folded for mailing. Use envelopes that match your cover letter and resume. Make sure to use good-quality paper with a good-quality printer.

Technorati Tags: how long is a cover letter, how to write a cover letter, when to use a cover letter, who to send a cover letter to

If you spend your time trying to please everyone else, frequently you will find you are left feeling less than satisfied with the outcome. Sometimes the only person we don’t listen to is ourselves.

The best advice I can give a single is to be true to yourself and to your vision. If you already have a life goal, stick to it. Do not let other people’s opinions sway you. Yes, we do need to make informed decisions; it is important that we do get advice from time to time, but remember, advice is just advice and the final decision on the course of action you will take is always your own to make.

Trust your own instincts. You know yourself better than anyone else. If it feels right, do it. If not, continue to search for the path that is right for you and you alone.

Technorati Tags: advice for singles, listening to your conscience, self evaluation, self help for singles, self improvement for singles

• Budget – I know, that word hurts me too.  It is only a matter of knowing where your money is going and how much.  Remember, pay your bills and obligations first.  After that pay yourself and place it in savings.  What’s left over can be spread to your living requirements.  It’s o.k. to splurge (small items) once in awhile especially if you are on a tight budget.  Should your budget be more extravagant, be careful and take heed to the economy.
• Health Insurance – You still need medical insurance for those unforeseen accidents and annual wellness visits.  Employers now have multiple plans to choose from.  For expense sake, you may opt for a high deductible and then pay for small expenses.  Consult with your Human Resource professional.  There are many options for small business owners and students.
• Health Care Power of Attorney – You need to designate a special person to make medical decisions on your behalf should you become incapacitated.  Consult a legal professional for more information.
• COBRA – If you decide to switch jobs the COBRA coverage under your current employer is mandated to continue your health coverage for up to 18 months after you leave.  Of course, you will have to pay any payments and fees associated with the continuance.  Check your employee benefits package or Human Resource professional for more information.
• Life Insurance – Even though you are Single and life insurance doesn’t seem like a need, don’t forget about funeral expenses.  Your family will appreciate the help in their time of grief.
  For Singles with children, it goes without saying that life insurance is imperative.  It could be used for their education or medical needs.
• Home Insurance – Always keep up your home insurance premiums along with flood insurance (if applicable) which usually is an addition to the basic insurance package.  Also, Home buyers Protection is very valuable to cover items such as: plumbing, heating, electrical, kitchen appliance, etc.  It has personally saved me hundreds of dollars.
• Wills – If you have anything of value that you treasure them it is necessary to have a will especially if you have children.  Decide who will get your most coveted belongings.
• Disability Insurance – Long-term and short-term disability is very important for Singles.  This type of insurance will pay for a percentage of your income should you be out of work because of sickness or accident.
• Retirement – It is important to start saving as soon as possible.  If you have a 401(k) with your employer then they may match your contribution.  That is a great bonus. Should your employer not have a 401(k), and then seek more information on an IRA. Remember, it is a bad idea to withdraw your savings when leaving a job.  Look into rolling it over into your next employers 401(k) or into an IRA.
• Long-term Care Insurance – Older Singles may want to explore the benefits of long-term care insurance.  The insurance covers nursing home and home health care expenses.

*Always consult with an expert for your financial management needs and concerns.

Technorati Tags: Financial Management, financial planning

The most important step in order to recover from burnout is for you to take a break from your work and the lifestyle you lead in general. Often sufferers do not realize the gravity of the problem and prefer to go on so that they do not lose their position at work or damage their personal relationships. The reality is that more and more employers recognize this condition and are willing to understand and even help for the recover of their employees. Thus, do not be afraid to detach from your daily life. The rest and relaxation will give your body, mind and soul time to heal.

You can go to a therapy or try to do it on your own, but you definitely have to find the causes of the burnout and the factors that produce stress in your life in particular. This is an essential step towards healing – understanding the roots of the problem will help you to evaluate your life and eliminate them or at least reduce them. The next step is to decide on your new priorities and goals based on the evaluation of your life you have made. This does not sound easy and it is not, but it is essential if you want to recover from burnout effectively.

Along the entire healing process you will need to get as much support as you can possibly get. Do not be hesitant to share your problem with your loved ones – they will surely respond, show understanding and help you out.

Technorati Tags: recovering from burnout, reducing stress in the workplace, Self Improvement, workplace stress

Almost all of us are guilty of procrastination at one time or another but when it becomes a habit and interferes with our progress or productivity it can be a harmful habit. When we recognize that it is just that, a habit, we know that these behaviors can be changed with a little coaching and guidance.

Definition of Procrastination: the habit of putting off or delaying or deferring an action to a later time.

For many people, there are underlying reasons for procrastinating. In this series, I will discuss them and help you find the motives behind your behaviors and offer advice on how to overcome them.

Feeling Overwhelmed

Information overload can lead a person to putting off a task. Your mind can only process so much information before it begins to feel overwhelmed and unmotivated to take any action.

If this seems to be your problem, here are some simple solutions to beating that over-worked and overwhelmed feeling when presented with a task.

• Write down the benefits of completing the job and assign yourself a small reward for following through to completion.
• Break the whole thing down into smaller steps or tasks. Performing the task in smaller increments will allow your brain to process the information and workload one step at a time and it will relieve the stress when you can see it as a series of tasks instead of one big job.
• Write it down. Many of the reasons people feel overwhelmed are because they think “I will never remember all of this”. Put it on paper and keep it handy while you work.
• Check it off. Check off each one of the tasks as you complete them. This will boost your motivation and it will give your mind a visual of the progress you are making.
• Enjoy the benefits and rewards you have earned!

Set aside time to really enjoy your accomplishment and the associated rewards. Do not spend that time worrying about the next task you will be presented with. Clear your desk, clear your mind and just celebrate a job well done.
By recognizing just how good it feels when you finish, you will soon begin to associate THAT feeling with any new tasks instead of the apprehension that you have experience in the past when presented with a challenge.

Technorati Tags: organization, overcoming procrastination, Time Management, ways to stop procratination