A Career Coach Who Understands

Archive for the ‘Life Coaching’ Category

Think that you’re a success? You may need to think again – or, more to the point, you may need to stop thinking altogether and start doing – that’s how to become a real success. Real success does not involve hard work, it does not involve compromising one’s work life balance and it does not involve wanting for anything. The problem is that people deem themselves to be successful based on the norms of society – and the word “norm” simply means that enough lunatics got together and agreed that this is the way things should be. Don’t forget, psychological research stretching back over seventy years proves that normal people’s minds control them, not the other way around – these are the lunatics that I’m referring to – and there’s a 96% chance that you’re one of them!

The fact is that, over the last fourteen years, the vast majority of the clients with whom I have worked were already successful before we ever met. But they were “normal successful”, judging themselves against such pathetic norms that they almost had closed their minds to the possibility that there is a level of abnormal success out there that anyone can attain – and it’s different from normal so-called success. Normal success is comparative and competitive – we judge our success against others’ achievements, material goods and lifestyles. We compare this year’s sales and profit to last year’s – when, if we just opened our minds a little, we would see the absurdity of planning next year on what we manage to achieve this year. Yes, business planning is a classic example of the manner in which we shut down our expectations and then reward ourselves for living down to them. After all, what sane person would use the normal levels of business this year as a benchmark against which to visualize next year’s. That’s why long-standing businesses are often overwhelmed by a new entry into the market, one who hasn’t succumbed to the “conventional wisdom” (by the way, there’s no such thing!) of the marketplace. That’s why, for example, the Swiss watch making industry has never recovered from the development of quartz timepieces – for, when offered this new technology in the nineteen seventies, the Swiss response was that they couldn’t take that on board – “a watch isn’t a watch unless it has all the moving pieces” – the rest is history.

When we consider ourselves successful through the normal lens of self-evaluation, we may be fooling ourselves – because we’re comparing ourselves to the crazies – you know, people who work crazy hours, ride roughshod over their fellow human beings, make lunatic decisions, screw up the world economy, clap themselves on the back, pay themselves obscene bonuses and, in the process, lose a little of their soul. But that’s enough about bankers!!! Allow me quote Niall Fitzgerald from an interview in Ireland’s leading newspaper, The Irish Times. Here’s a man who left Ireland in the 1970s and who went on to become Chairman and Chief Executive of Unilever and Chairman of Reuters. Fitzgerald is quoted as saying that the development of his business career, had he stayed in Ireland, would have been restricted unless “I was prepared to compromise my own principles”. That’s the kind of normal success I’m talking about.

But principles come in all shapes and sizes – for example, what comes first, working crazy hours to make more money, or family life? What’s more important, an organization’s bottom line or the people who make the money? The key question was well put two thousand years ago “What doth it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul?” What price “success”?

Let me propose a different perspective on success that suggests that real success simply happens when one is extra-ordinarily good at what one does for a “living”, that they get a great kick out of doing it and, because they’re so good, they get really well remunerated – that they have a wonderful time with the people who are most special to them in their lives – that they also spend lots of time and energy doing the things that really turn them on and that, in the whole process, they enable those whose lives they touch be the better for knowing them. This perspective on success encompasses financial freedom, work life balance, personal effectiveness and ambition and what’s come to be called “giving something back” (of course, in that regard, charity always begins at home). There are many of my clients who don’t subscribe to this perspective – they actually live it and it confirms to them that “you have to work hard to be a success” is a myth – hard work, like beauty, is in the mind of the beholder. For those who are truly successful what normal people see as hard work is a labour of love. The macho myth that you have to walk through people to be a success is also exploded – I’ve been privileged to work with senior management teams who deeply care for each other – to the extent that would put many normal family “caring” relationships to shame. These people grow each other and, in turn, grow themselves. These people don’t take themselves too seriously, have great fun doing what they’re doing and don’t give a damn about what normal people think of them – why should the bother? Why should you?

Which leads my nicely back full circle. Why conform to crazy norms? Why fall into the normal mould of “successful” living? Why jump aboard the normal express train to stress, infidelity and moral stupor? Why even care about what these so-called ordinary people think of you? Because, if you want to be extraordinarily successful, you’re going to have to start being extra – ordinary.

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Willie Horton, an Irish ex-accountant and ex-banker, has worked as a success coach to business leaders and sports people since 1996. He moved to the French Alps in 2002, from where his free weekly Self-Help video seminar is sent to thousands of people worldwide. His Online Personal Development Self Help Workshop is used all over the world, clients say it’s life-changing. Info: http://www.gurdy.net

Technorati Tags: achieving success, Self Improvement

As a single, we often get an abundance of advice, some welcomed and some not-so-much. People who do not understand your lifestyle may always be trying to re-invent who you are.

If you spend your time trying to please everyone else, frequently you will find you are left feeling less than satisfied with the outcome. Sometimes the only person we don’t listen to is ourselves.

The best advice I can give a single is to be true to yourself and to your vision. If you already have a life goal, stick to it. Do not let other people’s opinions sway you. Yes, we do need to make informed decisions; it is important that we do get advice from time to time, but remember, advice is just advice and the final decision on the course of action you will take is always your own to make.

Trust your own instincts. You know yourself better than anyone else. If it feels right, do it. If not, continue to search for the path that is right for you and you alone.

Technorati Tags: advice for singles, listening to your conscience, self evaluation, self help for singles, self improvement for singles

For Singles, financial planning is a very important issue.  Now is the time to review what you have and what you may need.  Please use this checklist as a guide to your financial planning needs:

• Budget – I know, that word hurts me too.  It is only a matter of knowing where your money is going and how much.  Remember, pay your bills and obligations first.  After that pay yourself and place it in savings.  What’s left over can be spread to your living requirements.  It’s o.k. to splurge (small items) once in awhile especially if you are on a tight budget.  Should your budget be more extravagant, be careful and take heed to the economy.
• Health Insurance – You still need medical insurance for those unforeseen accidents and annual wellness visits.  Employers now have multiple plans to choose from.  For expense sake, you may opt for a high deductible and then pay for small expenses.  Consult with your Human Resource professional.  There are many options for small business owners and students.
• Health Care Power of Attorney – You need to designate a special person to make medical decisions on your behalf should you become incapacitated.  Consult a legal professional for more information.
• COBRA – If you decide to switch jobs the COBRA coverage under your current employer is mandated to continue your health coverage for up to 18 months after you leave.  Of course, you will have to pay any payments and fees associated with the continuance.  Check your employee benefits package or Human Resource professional for more information.
• Life Insurance – Even though you are Single and life insurance doesn’t seem like a need, don’t forget about funeral expenses.  Your family will appreciate the help in their time of grief.
  For Singles with children, it goes without saying that life insurance is imperative.  It could be used for their education or medical needs.
• Home Insurance – Always keep up your home insurance premiums along with flood insurance (if applicable) which usually is an addition to the basic insurance package.  Also, Home buyers Protection is very valuable to cover items such as: plumbing, heating, electrical, kitchen appliance, etc.  It has personally saved me hundreds of dollars.
• Wills – If you have anything of value that you treasure them it is necessary to have a will especially if you have children.  Decide who will get your most coveted belongings.
• Disability Insurance – Long-term and short-term disability is very important for Singles.  This type of insurance will pay for a percentage of your income should you be out of work because of sickness or accident.
• Retirement – It is important to start saving as soon as possible.  If you have a 401(k) with your employer then they may match your contribution.  That is a great bonus. Should your employer not have a 401(k), and then seek more information on an IRA. Remember, it is a bad idea to withdraw your savings when leaving a job.  Look into rolling it over into your next employers 401(k) or into an IRA.
• Long-term Care Insurance – Older Singles may want to explore the benefits of long-term care insurance.  The insurance covers nursing home and home health care expenses.

*Always consult with an expert for your financial management needs and concerns.

Technorati Tags: Financial Management, financial planning

Suffering from burnout can have very serious consequences for your physical and psychological health as well as for your life in general and your relationships with other people. Formally the condition is defined as exhaustion felt physically, mentally and emotionally and caused by prolonged stress. There are a number of things that you can do to get back your normal state and life.

The most important step in order to recover from burnout is for you to take a break from your work and the lifestyle you lead in general. Often sufferers do not realize the gravity of the problem and prefer to go on so that they do not lose their position at work or damage their personal relationships. The reality is that more and more employers recognize this condition and are willing to understand and even help for the recover of their employees. Thus, do not be afraid to detach from your daily life. The rest and relaxation will give your body, mind and soul time to heal.

You can go to a therapy or try to do it on your own, but you definitely have to find the causes of the burnout and the factors that produce stress in your life in particular. This is an essential step towards healing – understanding the roots of the problem will help you to evaluate your life and eliminate them or at least reduce them. The next step is to decide on your new priorities and goals based on the evaluation of your life you have made. This does not sound easy and it is not, but it is essential if you want to recover from burnout effectively.

Along the entire healing process you will need to get as much support as you can possibly get. Do not be hesitant to share your problem with your loved ones – they will surely respond, show understanding and help you out.

Technorati Tags: recovering from burnout, reducing stress in the workplace, Self Improvement, workplace stress

As a single adult, you already know that finding the balance between your personal and professional life is a constant challenge. In fact, this is quite common among female singles today since the demands of your career can often grow as quickly as the demands of your family. If you are just starting a family or raising young children, then it is even more difficult – likely than you ever even imagined. But fear not – reward is at hand.

In fact, keep that word handy throughout your day, and apply it to your day as often as you can. For example, getting away from work at the end of each day is a “reward” in and of itself. You have made it another day. Success! Although you will make more money and further secure your stability in your field with extra work and overtime, there will be plenty of those times – so give yourself a rest when you know you really deserve one!

In fact, studies have shown that women who create quality time with their families end up being more successful singles in the long term. So if you think you are making a sacrifice now for your family by working longer hours, think again. Those who can manage to strike a good balance their life and work are more beneficial to their law practice, and certainly have happier and more contented home lives.

So, what’s the key to balancing your professional and personal life?

1. Every day, make a list of your priorities – including work and home life.
2. After completing the list, then evaluate it what you’ve just written. You may find that you are devoting too much time to activities that are not really that important. For instance, spending too many hours at the gym can really eat up your hours after work. What would you really rather be doing? How can you give “equal time” to everything in your life? Carefully make those adjustments to your schedule.
3. Understand that you’re not heading for perfection here – don’t expect yourself to check off everything on your daily list that you wanted to accomplish, but reward yourself for the things you do get squared away and leave the rest for the next day.
4. If you feel it’s necessary, hire a professional personal assistant and certified coach to assist you in organizing your life goals so that you can better enjoy that life – instead of stressing out over often-tangled wires that will impede your goals.
5. Finally, schedule yourself some personal time. This means even though you may need to work longer hours, make sure that once you leave the office, you leave everything at the office. Resist the temptation to check your emails, answer your cell phone or let other distractions intrude in your personal time or your time with your family unless it is an emergency.

It’s truly more daunting to simply think about how to reorganize and reschedule your time at work and at home than to actually just do it! Again, the rewards of feeling less stressed – and more balanced – will far outweigh the efforts that you expend while making the changes.

Technorati Tags: career coach, Career Coaching, life coach, Life Coaching, reducing stress, Time Management

If you’re an effective communicator, then things probably go pretty well for you – you are able to persuade and influence others, you can effectively make your needs known, and you inspire people to take action.

The good news is that by learning a few simple tips, you can dramatically improve your ability to communicate with others.

Download The Special Report – How Singles Can Communicate With Power And Influence

We all know that positive thinking can make a huge difference in creating success in your life. Here are 10 very easy ways you can make minor adjustments to your daily life that can have a very positive impact on your outlook on life and how others perceive you.

1. Take Good Care of Yourself. It’s much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.
2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For. Stresses and challenges don’t seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in your life. Every day take just one minute to make note of your achievements, your strengths and your blessings.
3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions. Do not waste your time worrying about the “What if’s” in the world. If you cannot validate a fear as fact then put it aside as unfounded and move on.
4. Refrain from Using Absolutes. Have you ever told a partner “You’re ALWAYS late!” or thought “I NEVER get considered for a promotion!”? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like ‘always’ and ‘never’ make circumstances seem worse than they are, and programs your brain into believing that certain situations are impossible.
5. Detach From Negative Thoughts. Negativity attracts negativity. Non-productive thoughts can be infectious. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, recognize it, and set it aside.
6. Squash the “ANTs”. In his book “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life,” Dr. Daniel Amen talks about “ANTs” – Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are reactionary negative assumptions, like “Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me,” or “The boss wants to see me? I did something wrong!” Do not imagine the worst. Keep your thoughts positive and you will address all situations in a positive manner.
7. Practice Lovin’, Touchin’ & Squeezin’ (Your Friends and Family). You don’t have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn’t touch!
8. Increase Your Social Activities With Your Prospective Peers. Surround yourself with healthy, happy, successful people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way! Social activities will prevent you from being lonely, will open doors to new contacts and experiences. Success is a learned behavior, by exposing yourself to successful people you will begin to learn success patterns.
9. Get Involved With Charities or Lend a Helping Hand. Volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return. Having a “Pay It Forward” attitude will make you feel good inside which will project into other areas of your life.
10. Be a Part of The Solution and Not Part of The Problem. If you find yourself focusing on an obstacle; stop. Take a step back and focus instead on finding a solution. Limiting your mind to problems will prevent you from moving forward to creating successful resolutions.

Negativity is often an unconsious reaction. Training your brain to focus on the positive takes a little bit of conscious effort on your part but the benefits are worth the effort. Work on incorporating one of these tips in your life until they become habit and then move on to the next tip. You will be surprised how quickly your mind responds to positive thinking and the effects it has on those around you.

Technorati Tags: certified life coach, Life Coaching, Self Improvement, self motivation, singles career coaching